My Adoption Tragedy - The Whole Story

For those who are new to my blog, Every Wednesday, I am posting a new day of my personal adoption story. I know today is Thursday, but I really had to get some court stuff done yesterday so I bumped it a day.


Part 2

Adoption?

1/3/08


I went to speak with Dr. Lawrence again.I still didn’t quite believe her, but I voiced my concerns about continuing the pregnancy nonetheless, just in case. She, of course, said it was too late to terminate and I said that maybe it was in the U.S., but not in other countries. I could tell she didn’t approve, but then, I didn’t really care. The embryo, in my opinion, is alive at conception. That single cell has the means to not only survive, but to reproduce, hence, I never understood people who quibbled over trimesters. She told me I should speak to the social worker, Eileen Shimose, about alternative options. I gave her an annoyed look, but went along with it.
I spoke with Eileen about alternatives to abortion, since third trimester abortions are illegal in the U.S. and I didn’t have the means or resources to travel elsewhere. She explained the concept of adoption to me and asked me some general questions, i.e. what I wanted to do in life, etc. She asked what kind of family/life I wanted for the baby. I really did not care and made a point of saying so. She tried calling some of the adoption agencies and left messages, but apparently everyone was out to lunch so she just gave me a list with three adoption agencies on it an their contact information. She asked if they could call me at home and I said no. Goodness, these people were so pushy sometimes. I hadn’t even had confirmation of this so called pregnancy via ultrasound yet and already they wanted to have adoption agencies calling my house. Finally, she suggested I go see a therapist. She said I was going through a lot and even though I seemed fine on the outside, I should have someone to talk to. I was annoyed again. Just because she wouldn’t be able to handle such a thing on her own, didn’t mean the rest of us we incapable of doing just that. Besides, if I felt the need to speak to someone, I would IM my friends, not some stranger who gets paid to listen to me. I ended up agreeing because I didn’t want them to think I was some closet psycho who tried to self-abort. I suspected that was the real reason she wanted me to go see him. The rest of the day went by normally as I waited for tomorrow to come so I could have my ultrasound. I was still going to work and all that so I was kept pretty busy.